5 posts tagged “sin”
.Passion.
.Trust.
.Why.
.Heaven.
.Simplicity.
.Love.
.Dream.
.Sorry.
.Crime.
Ands words I understand.
.Passion.
.Hatred.
.Pure.
.Life.
.Nightmare.
.Pain.
.Focus.
.Power.
.Death.
.Sin
.
Hmm, almost everyone loves window shopping. I am not everyone
There is always something that catches ones imagination.
Perhaps a long lost fantasy.
Perhaps a nightmare you wanted to relive.
________________________________________________________Whatever
Then we start saving for it. I am not we,
Finally we think we have enough to buy it. Think again.
Suddenly you find your fantasy is not for sale.
Your riches are useless. Reality hits you. Hard. Heh
Some days later you will realize. Realize it was never for sale. It never will be.
Your fantasy. Your imagination. Your nightmare. It was always yours.
Later..
Since the beginning of this year..there was a ghost living in me. No, I
was not taken...rather I hid this particular one inside me.
When she died, I took whatever left of it and hid it in the safest
place I could find. Inside myself. The ghost has remained there ever
since, even though I had forgotten , Months have passed and yet...
A
few days back, suddenly I realized all I had been doing was trying to
fulfil its ambition and dreams. Trying to live the unfulfilled life of
the ghost..darn. It was a horrid day for me. But somehow I seemed to
like it. Afterall, I was doing something for someone in me..if not
myself.
Heh, no wonder I hate all of you. My ghost consumes all my love, my care, my affection. No, I cannot love anyone.
Forgive me.
Later..
2240
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2248
Eight minutes have passed and I am yet to start thinking. Excavate some part of myself, some darn memory, some weird thought about which you wont ever give a damn and type it.
And read it myself, maybe some days later.
Sometimes I ask myself. Why?
At other times, you ask me. Why?
Never mind.
2252
There is this song playing in my head. Someone put it on an infinite loop. Who?
It is playing, And it is playing with me. It's burning into my head like a mole trying to dig a hole. It seeks shelter in my head. Why?
I, dont want to know. Sometimes, no..not sometimes. All the time someone wants me to protect them. Like I am some super being. I am...not. There are pieces here and pieces there. Pieces of me...I have yet to collect them. And ..
2305
A chilling draft steals into the room, Suddenly the crickets fall silent. I can hear the snore of some content soul. A reverbating sonata of silence.
An amusing incident flashes through my head, I manage a smile. I look into the mirror. A ghost.
The smile dies. I will too. Although not soon enough.
I breathe in the chill. It burns the throat, clams up the lungs, but it calms me. As always.
2323
Just don't.
Let me flee, this once
Later.. ano utaga daisuki
Having come this far, although not much is left to be said, still some things remain to be clarified. At least there are some others who think so.
Although I chant sorry at the slightest fault of mine, I never say sorry to myself. Hmm, yes another truth about me. I know hardly anyone reads or cares about me.
What did you think?
You dont believe me right. I dont either.
and the reason why..well it is quite simple actually. I dont regret my actions, or maybe I am so afraid of regretting them once that I might face a mountain of depression. My count of sins goes into tens of thousands.
Never mind. You have your lives to live and I have mine to endure.
Later..
