.She cries all night.

Ano...Uta.. __________[That...song]

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:54:48 +0530

2240

...

2248

Eight minutes have passed and I am yet to start thinking. Excavate some part of myself, some darn memory, some weird thought about which you wont ever give a damn and type it.
And read it myself, maybe some days later.

Water

Cuts from Makubex

Sometimes I ask myself. Why?
At other times, you ask me. Why?

Never mind.

2252

There is this song playing in my head. Someone put it on an infinite loop. Who?

It is playing, And it is playing with me. It's burning into my head like a mole trying to dig a hole. It seeks shelter in my head. Why?

I, dont want to know. Sometimes, no..not sometimes. All the time someone wants me to protect them. Like I am some super being. I am...not. There are pieces here and pieces there. Pieces of me...I have yet to collect them. And ..

____...~~No, I wont put them back~~

Not this time.

2305

A chilling draft steals into the room, Suddenly the crickets fall silent. I can hear the snore of some content soul. A reverbating sonata of silence.

An amusing incident flashes through my head, I manage a smile. I look into the mirror. A ghost.

The smile dies. I will too. Although not soon enough.

I breathe in the chill. It burns the throat, clams up the lungs, but it calms me. As always.

I breathe in again. And yet again. Finally I breathe out.

_____________________...~~Sigh~~

2323

Just don't.
Let me flee, this once

~~I pray~~.

Later.. ano utaga daisuki

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Say it and I will listen.

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:50:02 +0530

Walking on the streets in the crowd, all alone, watching people, I wont ever meet, never know.
Nahh, not a problem.

There will always be streets, there will always be people on the streets.

I wont always be there to walk the streets. I wont always be there to watch them, them whom I wont meet ever.

Screaming kids crying for shelter, running people, glowing streetlights, shiny roads, a dirty moon on a wet night.
Close to my thoughts, are they scenes that make me want to scream. A faint reflection, I can see the sun, the source of all life and I can already see the sea. The graveyard of all life.

Words, that's all I am now. That's all I was, that's all I will ever be.
In a world of humanity, a tool of man.

Never mind.
Just get back to your sweet lives.
Just remember when you got a word to say, say it and I will listen.

Later..

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Touch me not. Lest I follow your afterglow.

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:45:58 +0530

There have been several instances when a person told me that I have touched their life.

                                                                                                                                    ~~Darn.~~

Sins. More and more. Somehow, I am unable to stop myself.
Heh, yes. Perhaps I have lost control. No, you cannot prevent it. You can help yourself though. Stay away.

                                              ~~Far Away.~~

Touching lives across the world, I am tired. When someone asked me the same thing, I was at a loss for an answer.
They asked unbelievingly,
"are you sure, there was no one in your life, who has touched your life?"

~~"                                                                            No"~~

Afterglow

Yes, the answer is no. No one touched me and just left. Anyone who dared touch this abomination, was cursed. And when they try to undo it, a few shreds of my soul are taken away with it. Those who have touched, they know. How I follow them, their cares, their dreams, their wishes, their sorrows. How I make them mine. How I become blind, How I forget myself.

I have forgotten myself. Truly. Right now, who am I?
I do not know. More importantly, I have no wish to know. For I live in your afterglow. And I will continue to do so, long after you leave

~~Stuck.~~

Who wants tomorrow? I dont.

Sometimes, they wish to leave with a few pieces of my life, my soul. I never stop them. I let you go. All I need is your afterglow. Just come closer once, before you leave. Let me whisper a wish into your ears.
I will find my own way, never mind.

Essence of Hagi

...........
....
............coming to this day, when I see a blinding light, as you want to come closer to me. I warn, "stay away", my soul cowers in the corner of the room. You come to heal me, raise me.

~~Dont.~~

All I have say is that.
"Touch me not......... Lest I follow your afterglow."

Later..matte imasu

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Immortal words.. .words I will never forget...

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 19:20:02 +0530

sometimes it happens that......you become dependent on some one for your happiness

sometimes it happens that...you become dependent on someone for your sadness...

sometimes it happens that you are fool enough to fall in love...

sometimes it happens that you decide to play with love...
thinking it is impossible to fall back from where i arose...

"sometimes" sometimes becomes "all the time"

{No, not me.
The above were spoken by someone, someone special..
But the person who said these knows not the mark they left..}

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What you see...and what you dont..

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 23:16:10 +0530

I have questions that cannot be answered. ...and I have answers that cannot be questioned.

Look above into the sky....there are thousands of stars you can see, but there are a million more brighter than those you cannot see..

People tell me honestly is the best policy and I retort but not always....

I never tell the complete truth..but I never lie..

I never forgive but it so happens that i always forget what you did to me..

I dont love myself but I dont hate you either...

Whatever happens, happens for the good...but whatever doesnt....happens for the better

I lived to be hatachi.. but it seems I have lived for a century now

I am filled with truths of others...but i only spew my own lies..

There were time when I thought I could fix everything...but now I believe I ruin everything I touch..

Earlier I was not a mortal, for I wanted to die...but now I am less than one even, for I crave life...yet not care for it enough.

earlier there was only this..

Later..

and now there is...

nothing else to write...

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When the truths are funny and lies are honey…

nobody@vox.com(Makyubex) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:39:52 +0530

We live in a beautiful world. I am a synchronized piece of shit. We are all actors playing for an action sequence called life. The director up there is one tough taskmaster. Well overcoming my fear from the enlightened lot, I would like to make public this thought of mine. He/She, up there called upon as Messiah or the almighty is actually a stand-up comedian who has a very bad sense of humour and plays for an audience, us who are dumb not to laugh at His/Her jokes.

His/Her jokes, you ask what are they? The biggest one is called life, the smaller one-liners are the bits of happiness, the sorrows, the pains, which are all a small part of life. What am I rambling about, heh…

There are no half truths...

These are only a few truths that you may find funny. Nothing more nothing less. Just the funniest of all truths. Funny…

So that now you get the hint that I myself am no guffawing moron and my sense of humour appeals to a very minimal group of people. If you still want to know my unworthy hypothesis of the honey like lies, be my guest and read along.

Ever heard of the term, the sadness of the elephant because he could not kill the ant. I think not. Or of the boss who wanted to kiss his employees (barring the obvious cases, of course). Well forget about those for the time being. Let me tell you something, all great leaders were liars, most politicians are celebrated liars and not to mention the religious leaders (anyone wishing to murder me in my bed is welcome to do so…)

Well tell me the last time you voted when the leader told you that he’s fix your sucky water connection or when you did you last buy that pack of raisins just because it said imported from world over. They are not always lies I say, but they are what I call as the honey of life.

Now a few honeydew things from me. Tomorrow is another day, even if it was the worst day of your life. If you love ditched you, do not grief there is always next time. Maybe you had a bad day at the office today but then don’t worry one day you will be the boss of your boss that will be your day. Ah…don’t worry people someday everything will be all right. Just fine, someday there will pure bliss all around. You don’t believe me. Why because I am saying the lies that you say cannot ever be true or because I am a fool.

Sweet and sticky as honey...

Whatever the case, they seem like honey don’t they? So much that you are tempted to believe them, aren’t you. As I have already said a million times I am really incapable of lying in the face of truth, so my honey flavoured lies might not be tasteful for you but then there are a lot of others who might not as disabled in this sphere as me. Beware, don’t fool yourself.

There is no such thing as a full truth or a half lie.

Until then…

Later…

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